A New Beginning... Again

little parting gifts for my teammates

So I called it quits again. 

Am I proud of myself?  Definitely not.  Am I relieved?  Yes, very much so.  

Ever since I started work back in end February, everything pretty much felt like a whirlwind.  Most people would say that working 9am-6pm, five days a week, is normal.  But strangely, I couldn't handle it.  I took part in this normalcy for 6 months, but it didn't get any normal for me.  My being felt foreign.  I couldn't control my time, couldn't govern my mind from whirring away with thought after thought, worry after worry.  Needless to say, it did not take me long to decide to lose this job before I lose myself.  I was in an organisation with a great social mission, I had good teammates that I got along fine with (I think... I have to admit that I was rather reclusive), but there was just one piece that did not fit the puzzle - the work wasn't right, for me.  

Before you race up to me to give me a smack on my bottom or deliver a lecture on what a big bag of lazybones I am, take the queue.. behind my dad, my mum, my grandma.. the list goes on.  What I will say to everyone is.  I am not lazy, I am not a pampered brat, nor have I decided not to work. 

I am idealistic. I am dreamy. I am still searching.

When will my search end?  I do not know.  I know that it's time for me now to sit still again and watch the clouds roll by, pick up my favourite things and remember what makes me happy and centred. 

some of my favourite things ~  I heart my stamp set. I heart my ball of twine.
I heart my box of penguin postcards.

A couple of months ago, after a hiatus of not taking photos and neglecting this dear blog, I picked up a couple of food magazines.  My eyes welled up when I saw the gorgeous food photos. 

Idealistic.  Dreamy.  Still searching.